


Not To Me

by ShippingThings



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, I really kind of HATE how this turned out and I'm sorry, I wrote this like months ago and I don't know how good it is, Mess, Poor Raven, Raven Reyes-centric, Raven's point of view, Unrequited Love, this is a different point of view and writing style for me, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 12:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7362157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShippingThings/pseuds/ShippingThings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I see you more than I hear you say it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I wrote this months ago based off number 10 of this post. (it's it the notes at the bottom)  
> I have no idea how I feel about this and this is really not how I enjoy writing so.... I don't know. I usually don't use first person and I'M SORRY I KNOW ITS GROSS OKAY?  
> I have an Octaven fic planned but I don't know if I'm going to write it so this was really just me working out how I feel about writing them.  
> But yeah... I might make this into a series and do some of the other prompts for different ships.

I see you more than I hear you say it. Mouth spread into one of the happiest smiles I’ve seen on your face in years, eyes bright green, looking up at him, not me, looking at him like how you used to look at me during all those mindless warm easy days that summer after middle school, like how you looked at me one night during a sleepover as we swam under the Christmas lights still strung up around your family's patio and the candles we had put around the edges of the pool, both of us dimly lit as we splashed and tried to keep our laughter quiet. 

It’s not how you looked at Atom at the first football game of sophomore year, hungry and determined, obviously wanting nothing more than a fling, maybe a fuck buddy, I don’t really know, we didn’t talk much about it, (I feel bad about not being the best friend you can talk to about things like that sometimes, but that’s what you get for making me fall in love). It’s not how you look at Bellamy, annoyance and occasional anger, but always underlying fondness and maybe even adoration, idolization, very obviously like a brother. You don’t look at Lincoln like you looked at your brother, or the guy who took your virginity. You look at him how you looked at me and the words leave your lips and it sounds nothing like any of the thousands and thousands of ways you’ve said it to me.

The look might be the same but it’s a completely new phrase with the way you utter it, even though it’s been spoken billions of times all over the world and so many times by you, usually to me. It’s light, not light in a way where you are teasing or messing around, light like you can’t believe you get to say it to him in that moment, light like you can hardly keep your feet on the ground, which you can’t as you stand on your toes, connecting your lips with his and as he lifts you up in his arms. It’s soft, not our whispers when we stayed up into the early AM when we first started having sleepovers, too hushed, too secretive. You are not telling a secret. Soft like the sheets of your bed I’ve spent so many nights pressed close against you while we slept, me often times staying up, worrying about what you would think if you knew how I felt. Soft like your skin when my hand ‘accidentally’ brushes yours and when you willingly take it in your own.  

He says it back and if my heart stops and so does my breath, probably because yours does too. You, overcome with your _ love _ , for Lincoln Woods, me consumed by my love as well, but not for Lincoln. Your heart swelling, mine breaking. 

I know you’ll want to talk about it later, when it’s just us and I’m trying to pretend that he doesn’t exist, that it really is just us. Or that Finn is still around so I can kid myself into thinking I feel how you feel towards him instead of you, that I ever felt it for anyone other than you. You’ll want to talk about how amazing he is, which is true. He is genuinely a good guy, I trust he won't make you do anything you aren’t comfortable with, he’s never been mean to me or made a snide comment towards my brace or asked something disrespectful. He’s even helped me a few times, once catching me as I lost my balance walking up the stairs to physics, walking with me to class every day after that, showing up in front of my English class to walk with me up those stairs. Usually that would really piss me off, but it’s such a you thing to do I can’t push him away because I can’t push you away.

**Author's Note:**

> http://trash-by-vouge.tumblr.com/post/132858041745/the-way-you-said-i-love-you  
> THERE IS THE POST.  
> Also this is completely unbeta'd and like...... Yeah that's a mistake.


End file.
